Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Midlife Career Crisis Vent...a phase..RIGHT?!

I have been meaning to blog about this for some time now. God has showered me abundantly with so many blessings. - A loving and hard working husband that spoils me and my children endlessly. - 2 children that are bright and beautiful and ask curious questions why things are done they way they are - A supporting family that stands by me and my husband no matter what - Friends that have been there for us through thick and thin - A gift of health and Life (After losing 35 lbs I can say I am winning back my life back one lb a time & it feels great) - A job that supports us to provide for our little family to put a roof over our head and food on the table and the necessity to get through life. All in all, one would think that life would be perfect, but being I turned the big 29 a couples month back I have been having s spiral of uncertainty of how my life has turned out career wise. Dont get it twisted, my life is perfect but the aspect of wanting more in life is a different story. Back when I was 21, I had a journal that I wrote in faithfully. I wrote about anything and everything in that little book. Rummaging through my old stuff at my parents house I read about where I saw myself 5 years down the line. And saw that everything that I thanked god before previously was on my list of where I saw myself EXCEPT the sore thumb that stuck out a perfect CAREER life changing job. I may be a bit selfish for having a job and not being happy about it. Whereas, the economy that we live in, there are hundreds that are without employment and no ends to support their family. But I think I am entitled to happiness. I work for small family owned business that has flourished tremendously especially during the recession. When I graduated from college and worked for a call center at the time, I took the leap of faith when I joined this company. To the point, that I even worked in his garage of his house to help his business grow. Over the years, we eventually moved out of his garage and into a piece of crap office that stored all of his products. Business was so good that we outgrew three warehouses in matter of 4 years. We were in high demand. Soon his family quit their corporate jobs, in efforts to help too. When this happened I was no longer in the lime light of help and was left in the shadows to do the dirty paper work they call it. Soon all the hustle and bustle came to a halt. With a switch of light, we were no longer so hot no more. Recession was being affected everywhere and fast. Companies were downsizing including some of our main customers.The company filling the tightness as well and had to let go of some people and even cut back on hours. Its been a roller coaster lately and uncertainty has def set in my life. I have worked for this company for so long and could not imagine where I would go from here. I was not fortunate and funded my own way through school. I ended up graduating but in a degree that I cant find myself using in any of the jobs that I have applied for in the past. My motivation to go back to school is there but the reality of trying to find means to pay for it is a discouragement in itself. There has been application filled out. Interviews have been made. All for it being sent a letter that you were not the right candidate and someone has been picked over you. Its such a downer sometimes. My husband advises that this is just a phase that I am going through and it too shall pass. Maybe I am being impatient, and I want things to happen in matter of seconds, but reality sticks in and sometimes life is a waiting game.Out of all of this, I pray to god in hopes that there is something better. God is the reason that I keep striving in hopes that he will have an answer for me on my next step. There are so many directions I want to go but being pulled in others for one reason or another. As I type each word on this issue, it makes me feel a little better as I release this to universe in hopes for an answer soon. Something will avail and God will not fail me along with my husband or the family and friends that I have in my life.


  1. Hi Kim! Firstly... girl, you are still sooooooo young! You have so much time to realize your career. You are a young Mother and that's the most important job. You may not get paid scrillas for it, but you are awarded by seeing your work accomplished in your beautiful children.

    I believe that most of us (men and women), go through that phase. I'm still going through it. I graduated from College with a degree that's not being used in the job I presently have. I've wanted to venture out into the private sector and get paid some real money, but then I'd have to give up the comfort and security of my government job that I've given so many years of my life to. Like you mentioned, with the economy being the way it is, it wouldn't be a good idea for me to go venturing. With everything, you have to sacrifice one thing in order to achieve something else. I've been wanting to go back to school too, but I've decided that I'll wait for my son to graduate from high school first. Even if that means I'll be the oldest student. LOL.We're never too old to learn new things that can help enrich our lives.

    Those jobs that you've applied to and didn't get, it just wasn't meant for you. It's out there, your career. All in God's timing. You'll know it when you get there! :) In the meantime, enjoy.

  2. Hey Kim, chin up girl! I know the economy sucks! IT is affecting our business terribly too. I'm glad to see that you have such a strong support system in your family and friends. I don't think it's selfish to want more for yourself and your family- it's the American dream! God will bring the right opportunity along when you least expect it, and maybe even when you're not even looking!

  3. Aitah n Cher thank you ladies for the inspiring words. It surely means a lot. With God, he will show me the way!